Wednesday, February 29, 2012

....

the story of a ghost

caitlin,
I hate every childhood memory I've had. These memories haunt me in my hell they become magic symbols that are supposed to get me through the day, through fear, through panhandling.
My thoughts are paused to prevent me from writing the truth.
I don't want these memories back I want my past forgotten I don't need these memories to focus or to find clothing or to look like a model. I want my cocaine life style, I need to represent the movement in fashion this is a propeller for finding my way back to the real world finding whoever runs this fucking thing I'm in who won't come directly to me.
I don't have time to argue about the psychosis symbols that became heighlighted when the person james hughes tries to appease the others in the concept that any of this is my artwork. Forced symbols, empty lacked mentality that I'm held together by symbols.
Nothing with childhood or the word "good" was ever my belief or artwork.
I care about nothig but the superficial.
My artwork starts in manhattan when I shit on crane street (after returning from this nightmare in brooklyn). I'm told I'm speaking to paris hilton and these people refuse to let me go. They don't give a fuck that I'm homeless or that I've run out of cash. I summon demons, I mock any concept of spirituality that tim willis taught me in childhood. I would burn down fucking crane street if I had my $ at this point. What they call my soul is what I must sell to free myself from their psychological lock on me, the disturbment of my past every person who meant less than the images I have from mercedes bendz fashion week the days with arun my biological mother the days in a life I don't consider my own the past that I closed when I came home to n.y.c. in 2004.
Everytime I hear the word of one of these people from childhood...

I was lied to about paris hilton being associated to this project.
I saw her father once and was told he was on the other end but have never spoken to this man
I was never freed to my journey to the upper 1% of manhattan and freedom from the illumanti on irving plaza down the street from the only real source of spirituality

I have to fight to get any words that matter it's rare I can comment on all of this
I thought somebody at occupy wall street would know what company invests in this technology but nothing of the sorts has happened
I had a plan with richard hilton or whoever pretends to be him to become an american apparel model through this project that I'll likely fulfill with god republican
I say this and small thoughts are paused there's a fake smell that's on my retina but I'm unable to get this off at this time.

I wouldn't mention directly what I'm saying, somebody wants their artwork in my artwork.
My perception is altered I'm to go into a seizure
At this point it's not worth writing where this person has me

I write anyway
I'm more attached to the people at occupy than the memories of reality or the friends of james hughes
Nobody ever knew me in life, I kept seperate parts of myself from each person
this is in the days before the year 1997 is forced into references or childhood or the world where a man doesn't pay bills before I got trapped in this game to bring you $ (my final goal)
you will own the tv station

I listen to songs that I left on the walls of bushwick
symbols of who I am against these people who attempt to throw children in me or reference my childhood, the novels I hated the poverty I'd forgotten when I moved to n.y.c.

I am asula langely soryeu I am evangelion 002
I wish to forget the memories of the dead who don't belong inside my mind I exist for my exterior front and for superficiality to find paris hilton to tell her my story at the end of this hell

I am the enemy of the illumanti the enemy of the seele
I encourage anyone who reads this to read the esoteric texts archieve
you can enter the astral plane and have all the secrets the illumanti have
the rosicrucian order <- these are my enemy, the people I hate who keep me trapped int his shit and create creative versions of people and lie to me when I run out of my medication

Seele is probably a metaphor for the people on the other end who try to save me from this project. I read and dabbled with too much meditation and the problem
with the lowest levels in the project is at some point I must have believed
spirituality to be real but eventually find it all a waste of time
which is unneccessary to fuck the girl in my dorm room upstairs
this is because 6 years ago they documented me and then started interacting with my mind in 2007

I require 24/7 stream of music I require media that doesn't skip
or on the other end people attack my mind
soundwaves attack me in this game
it wasn't meant to be as harmful as it is now
but I ran out of $ and didn't take the harm seriously in 2007
I live without senses until I can find my medication
everyday is worthless I have amensia I'm forced to remember my past
every part of me is owned by others their creation of my current
version is an emergency mode to save me from this project
get the $, you, the tv station. God republican has never failed at this and
used to put me to sleep on the train panhandling.

I wish this was all bullshit I really fucking do but I swear to fuck caitlin
if you help me get my medication I can explain to you the project
and at some point show you, eventually they'll tell me their addresses.

-Little Nemo
(occupy wall street)

apart of occupy wall street
a caitlin rodriguez production
little nemo on hbo
2/29/2012
black caitlin heart
the school of visual arts church of silver tiles day 496/8 james hughes days

i've been counting this since prison 

please read esoteric archieves if you want "the powers" of the illumanti

29 is the # of god which is you (the previous entry and the day I found someone for my meds which the person who claims to be james hughes got me through a seizure and an art piece where I kill gunnar agerholm, which doesn't actually symbolize this but my mind's attempt to be associated to the current year I'm in)
This is another day where I become trapped in what's happening by the others on the other end when I choose to create a mode where I speak to god republican only on the other end. Another day where James Hughes is to be placed in the red room of psychosis of symbols of the dead which god republican warned me of, a world which has nothing to do with the real world or the real process of little nemo. This is another day where the progress of getting to the other side of this project and creating a television station is hindered by if James Hughes will represent the ceo position I've demanded to make him when this station is created.
There's something placed in my mind which cannot handle the constant of the past and prevents my thoughts from flowing, this isn't actually me but somebody who wants only new items written down everything moves forward without the symbology.
God republican had mentioned this and the absurdity of my dedication to the position I give james hughes, she also assembled me fastest. In the morning I'm given this threat world, the name harvey weinstein is forced into my vocabulary but has nothing to do with the real project. It's more likely AMORC wishes to keep me insane more than anything.
I'm not creating a television show I'm attempting to keep my mind sane. This is why there's two windows I became trapped in time with the person who claims to be harvey weinstein but nothing associated to his name had anything to do with reality.
There's a guy on the other end who waits until my intentions represent good before he helps me get towards reality but this is the entierty of my point that internal intentions are not real.
I will not succeed in life because I believe in good, this is not real people this was never my motivation to live in life, my throw away friends my childhood, the white trash ones and the ones who knew me in my red neck past were all in awaiting n.y.c.
This is the reason you're the princess, because in psychosis on bushwick avenue I burned allof my past emblems that I took from the agerholms, a picture of christie cummings, medals from childhood, everything that was my enemy except a note I was to give to you.
This is the problem of my hell, 4 years later after the project fucked me and didn't give me my cash at the end of s.v.a. I have to be the woman from I am a scientist, I live in this project in a world that's something like heather from the bikini bandits fighting harry mudsack if he lived in her mind, there has to be a cold ability to understand what has to be done and ignore the symbols of hillvalley and the name of harvey weinstein.
My artwork is stolen by others, writing to the princess as I figure my way out of this shit.
This is the concept of my art, symbolized when I return to manhattan.
Queen is right about the artwork there's no point in writing if I'm not writing something that you can read in the future.
When the guy on the other end pauses my thoughts there's no point in writing, the writing enters this world of contradiction.
I enter a place of psychological psychosis but I don't consider this person apart of the art, I fucking hate this, they have a clause where I must not have future intentions to harm the people on theo ther end but none of this matters for how low I am in the project.

-little nemo
(occupy wall street)

apart of occupy wall street
a caitlin rodriguez production
little nemo on hbo
2/29/2012
black caitlin heart
the school of visual arts church of silver tiles day 496/8 james hughes days

hughes want out of this project 

symbolic songs, recreating the sarah o'donnahuge diaries

It is many years later since the moment on 14th street when I play au revior simone. Returned from the slums of bushwick, during which time the people on the other end convinced me that I was a democrat and in love with the impoverished life style of pretending to be apart of outsiders of williamsburg, or bushwick.
24/7
I come to conlusions about all of this and the year 2008 when I'm given access to music, I'm able to recall everything that's happened. I look up mitt romney for president, I go to join his email list. My symbols to the people on the other end
I reference back to I'm referenced songs by whoever is on the lower level ont heother end which symbolizes the senses that are taken from me in this project
the point of the project is I get up to fight the people on the other end who have made me into a democrat by segmenting my senses creating a creative world around me and attempted to coupe my body
the enemies of little nemo, thoughts are thrown into my mind somebody prevents my ability from editing in 2008, I stay am battling them for the ability to return to life
I refuse to go with the project
I create a religion to battle the people who appears inside my hell's kitchen apartment and took advantage of when all of my memories are erased in my concept of using 1997 art books
I keep playing the song meds which tells me blatently the people on the other end are using, manipualting, keeping me trapped in this hell, the moment I run out of medication I was manipulated into 2008, this was probably from queen or god
Y control symbolizes when I overtook the project when I walked as a zombie in the "your lover is an actress" era of my hell. My mind beyond anything that could be done understands that I have survived this hell to create you a tv station.

the women I'm trying to marry on the other end tells me/references exy ideas / never comes to me but tells me when people are going to overdose. They work really hard in segmenting my thoughts (I invented dorm room in this church
some of the shit is so fucking insulting that they place into me when i'm trying to watch incredibly personal music videos
I'm trying to reassemble the same thing
queen came up with the concept of throwing away clothing and always need to represent williamsburg brooklyn always represent in this project what they've done to me/the decision to break up with ana/become michael alig


I have to remind myself of who I am in my responses to these people

apart of occupy wall street
a caitlin rodriguez production
little nemo on hbo
3/1/2012
black caitlin heart
the school of visual arts church of silver tiles day 495/8 james hughes days



i am republican, slowly reassemble your way out of 1955, restored from white trash I succeed in getting the sports almanac back to 1985 and make money from that point this would be james hughes metaphor for his birth year his picture is above as i was thrown into fear of placing my own




Tuesday, February 28, 2012

m83 is adderall

caitlin,
whoever adjusts the system and attempts to claim that harvey weinstein was apart of little nemo is not an indigo child. He is not apart of the future or the music video for m83-midnight city. He creates a john blaney sound wave, this kid from my childhood who represents white trash one of the road signs on the highway of life, the forgotten in my bricks to n.y.c. and the year in childhood I decided to be republican.
I was robbed $10 last night and paid this $10 to never be afraid of harvey weinstein's name ever again, despite any of the threats on the other end by harry mudsack. That I will go to prison for panhandle that I'll go to jail for stealing anything this man says. I will not live in fear in my project.

-Little Nemo
(occupy wallstreet)

apart of occupy wall street
a caitlin rodriguez production
little nemo on hbo
2/28/2012
black caitlin heart
the school of visual arts church of silver tiles day 495/8 james hughes days

the year 1995 is written in rikers island when your booked in. it is also when the maxx was published.
I called myself this of williamsburg, brooklyn as I spoke to a false version of you, somebody who pretended to be you for several years. I wrote down at 5am every day michael bloomberg and harvey weinstein's name to give you their power and connections. This never happened, I never owned domino sugar or the 2008 model pfizer which will become the tv station.
I masturbated to the year 2005 today. 

Monday, February 27, 2012

725 9th avenue apt3d new York, new York

Caitlin,
I will get everything I asked for and was promised in 2008. At 23 I am republican, my mind tells me I barely made it to hell's kitchen from what James did to me in my dorm room. The tv station will be in the Pfizer refinery and we will own floors of domino sugar (whoever my demon friends are who help me to get to the other side of the project, Carl, James Hughes knows who did what. I am persecuted daily inside my mind for being republican until I can find my medication and get out of my eye digital voice attacks layered under perceptions and amnesia. The current sound wave attack is 2011 Harvey Weinstein and 2007 falling up and down and a touch of 2008; where I'm manipulated/play the role of "skittles" a version of myself off my medication when I'm manipulated into this, the democrat/Harry mudsack guy alters the perception of my tv show when I tell him that I'd live in NYC if everyone hated me. At this point they vaguely have people approach me, but do not directly come and get me also they try to manipulate the inversion of my republican status with association to my biological father who they told me to see because I was on tv, it was good for a republican to say goodbye to his dying father, they then switch my emotions for Gunnar agerholm's cancer to my biological father. They tell me they will free me after I beg on the agerholm's porch where I later leave back up meds in a bag with "from Brooklyn with love" post card from spoonbill. A symbol of how I free myself from "guy" (versions of my dormmates), "Harvey Weinstein" who apparently pretends to be you and Paris Hilton and people apparently associated to the mayor.
I have to get them out with music/focus then I reach higher levels of my mind. Queen explained exit focus and mrs.darko a republican women who helps me who I pledge love and sexual fetish lively to assists me with amnesia/blacking out thoughts and directly telling me how to weave around the child built in west park church that lives in me.
I just need my fucking perscription.

I love you.

-little nemo
(occupy wall street)

Apart of occupy wall street
A Caitlin Rodriguez production
Little nemo on hbo
Black Caitlin heart
The school of visual arts church of silver tiles day 494/8 James Hughes days

Sunday, February 26, 2012

ben and jerry at occupy wall street. letter to caitlin rodriguez

caitlin,
90% of the time I can't write shit it's blocked by this anger feeling that this guy is placing into my mind he's taken every symbol or memory that I've ever had and made them contradict with words he wants an end scenario in connecticut that I move to connecticut and live with my biological father who they forced me to see in 2007 as a class status insult.
I need a constant stream of media, the feeling they force upon me is overcoming me so I won't be able to write much further. There's these struck bounds in what I write until I get them out with focus and my mediation and the feeling of writing to you is directly blocked.
I'm trapped in this world that happens when I run too low on my medication that I call hill valley and the person on the other end called the red room, where I'm forced to recall every person I've ever known and then use them as a symbol.
"I have killed your art"
"you sold out gunnar agerholm"
"you sold out anna gripentrog"
"you sold out james hughes"

in my world I am never to sell out james hughes. There's a person on the other end who wants to prevent my writing or in the daily dialogue I'm supposed to speak to you different and I don't understand why I'd write differently to you.
At this point there's someone who wants to trap me inside the hill valley world.
This guy now calls himself "lasn", in a prior time he called himself "democrat"

I'm helped by an upper east side 60 year old woman who I worship with a smoking fetish ritual who used to yell rodrigo to me on the pole. This woman from her computer has seen the degradation of my existence as a man since 2007. the project refuses to find me and can read everyone's thoughts with this military technology. She has found me $ through this I first appeared believing that she existed at zuccatti park when I joined occupy wall street.
She wore an "au revoir simone" shirt which represent my rise back to manhood, back to where I stood when I got my apartment the keys to manhattan on my 23rd birthday. This is when this project decided to fuck me let me loose a part of my mind go off my medication not figure out how to morph beyond the creative levels and exit to payment. Instead it's turned into this form of a game.

The woman pearl forester has now won the game of hill valley and is now god of hill valley.
This is an announcement to the rest of the project little nemo.
The final mind state I'm to return to is March 23, 2007 when I join young republicans.
I am republican. The person who is democrat, anyone who claims I must return to my blog's image of bill clinton or to the age 22 when I deeply supported the democratic party in my dorm room is invalidated.
Although I will still use the phrase dorm room for silent mode and detachment from little nemo (christianity help, assistance and boggling).
If the person james hughes claimed democrat republican has won.
In the game mode of sp/sa of occupy wall street she has won. Therefore I am republican by these rules.


Things like this are important, in times where I was parishilton'shusband I received nothing but jail and failure. Under your name there's a concept that everyone who once harmed me is able to gather under, or whoever james hughes is, literally the person james hughes who lives in brooklyn who was the first one to read my thoughts has organized this into a safety system which involves becoming a child playing a game called "lucifer"

For a period of time I suffered this shame mode, as long as I was lead into shame I was left alone by whoever supported the name of harvey weinstein. This is until my mind recognized your name as aum which is what the producer title means/who i'm going to give the $ to.

I love the woman mrs. darko <- this is an announcement to the project alongside caitlin as well.

Eventually you'll find this blog on the internet, I'm writing this down the street from where you probably ive. I've written to you for several years, at one point under a format where I was told that everything I wrote physically was then immediately published. There were libraries of the books I wrote a harry potter series where I write to the princess everywhere.
But none of this was true and everything was a metaphor to lead my back to my medication.
On my medication I discovered the real project.
I hadn't heard real music in years. There are layers on my eye that block this, one from michael bloomberg's office which tormented me for two years named "john blarney"

because of the amount of $ I get paid at the end of the project nobody will come to me.
It was a couple of million a day or so in 2007 I'm pretty sure funded by the $ this fucked up corporation must wield from the government or whatever. It's also the next level of technology and the internet close to chip implementation/there are levels of psychological adjustment in the technology which I want to bring to williamsburg (my dream of my thesis I retain from my thesis year. James Hughes the face of the channel like steve jobs. The princess owns the channel. The princess is god. The princess is you. The way I know I'm being fucked daily, nobody will come to me but these people were next door to me in 2007).

This guy was given too much power in the project with the theology of twin peaks, built around the occupy wall street churches I live in and was far too attached to the spiritual/conceptual idea of little nemo I designed in my room. He created mind perimeters, depression and an end goal to send me to my biological father's home. I call this "skittles" this is a concept where I either go along with this, have amnesia and don't remember the project instructions or don't recall where that format's end goal is in my mind's mental space.

This is not bullshit this is all really happening and requires music and focus but I need my medication to interact with the project. They could just come and bring it to me but I have to panhandle, although sometimes the project directly tells me where to get money. Just recently though.

I fucked up really bad at west park church and let this guy build me in to seizing with a new smell of hand built off the black guy who doesn't shower.

Essentially this woman saved me from this and also hit the meter of finding a medication source that james hughes built. I swear to fucking god the real kid james hughes who lives in brooklyn is on this project and will get a tv station ceo david aimed out of this.


I have to go now ben and jerry are coming to our upper west side occupy. I'm sure this shit sounds really insane but if you run into this please help me get my medication and I'll fucking explain all of this and how they got me to spend my student loan $.

There's a lot of art and wedding purposal to you too.

-little nemo
(occupy wall street)

apart of occupy wall street
a caitlin rodriguez production
little nemo on hbo
2/26/2012
black caitlin heart
the school of visual arts church of silver tiles day 493/8 james hughes days

"pearl forrestor/mrs. darko" has saved my from a psychological psychosis that the person on the other end created in wanting to make it that "music counts first before we find our medication"
over the idea that there's no point if i can't hear the music, hear false levels and need the medication to get the guy out of me who plays repeat music songs/voice overs. Alongside direct digital voices which are thrown directly into me but can be removed with focus. talk later love to sex fetish primum mobile woman.

Confusion was thrown into that word so I'll need somebody to explain if she should in the prium mobile or not.

Please help me get my medication they make it so I can't move and am forced to sleep all the time without my medication.
Although the woman who used to lead this who I am the future protege/sex slave of was half of putting me to sleep/creating a child in me, she's now disabling the creation of "lasn" who also psychologically jams/creates fear into the next thing I do.

Anyhow if your a reader of this blog, none of this is bullshit, I'm in this fucking project but they let me run out of my medication and $ and without it the project damages my mind, like if mario kept running into the goomba again and again and again. It's sort of like the pest.  gg




Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Caitlin,
The same shit is said into me. The people on the other end want to control my artwork. By the time I reach my blog the thoughts are destroyed. They tell me there is no point in writing. They want to invent versions of me and immediately erase my thoughts. There's really hot shit that the woman mrs. Robinson does to my thoughts with my smoking fetish.

-little nemo
(occupy wall street)

Apart of occupy wall street
A Caitlin Rodriguez production
Little nemo on hbo
2/22/2012
Black Caitlin heart
The school of visual arts church of silver tiles day 489/8 James Hughes days

update. art. please make childhood go away

caitlin,
I'm fighting symbolism at this point and paying tribute to a woman on the other side who I have a sexual fetish with. My writing is being slowed, people on the other end have made a deal with me to make art at some point (because I didn't like the kids from sva who were supposedly involved) but none of these people were really involved and if they were I don't know where the fuck they are now. Some guy who claims to be james hughes who's some guy who's had arguments with me throughout the years has spent a mass amount of time creating a world, they have me screaming through the streets yelling for adam gardner, for the symbol that I don't want anymore and to create a world where something bad happens if I don't pay tribute or hold true symbols from my childhood. To never forget the life that I hated. I still live at west end park church with occupy wall street. We're making art for $. If anybody knows what company speaks through your eye please contact me with the information that got erased years ago, I want out of this project [OR SOMEBODY FROM THE PROJECT PLEASE CONTACT ME]

-little nemo
(occupy wall street)

apart of occupy wall street
a caitlin rodriguez production
little nemo on hbo
2/22/2012
black caitlin heart
the school of visual arts church of silver tiles day 489/8 james hughes days

*it seems i didn't acknowledge somebody works to create a world where I cannot move my body, which requires my medication. 

Monday, February 20, 2012

James Hughes,
Tomorrow is your birthday. In my hell I have prayed to you as Jesus Christ hoping that your still on this project leading this project. For many years. Today at 5am is 488 your birthday doc brown of my hell. I know trapped in time that I your creation or where others help me in your name dream of you as Steve Jobs of a tv station we run in Williamsburg, Brooklyn amen to your name and ability to fuck women in 2006. Fuck amorc. (the fake illuminati)
-Little Nemo
(occupy wallstreet)

Friday, February 17, 2012

Introduction of Little Nemo NYC art project

Caitlin Rodriguez (the princess),
For many years in this project I have written to you, attempted to purpose to you, through every possible form of a nightmare as I tried to figure my way to reality. The base of the project is my medication which I require to meditate to get people digitally out of me (who have been on the other end of the project, viewing my thoughts and a portion of my eye since 2007).
There are many levels of the people on the other end, their literal voices are the top level which had communicated to me and planned a way to make a tv show in 2007. The project requires confidence internally which requires me the ability to exit/navigate my internal mind and be willing to face my reality/formulate thoughts, particaularialy internal personal thoughts which exist as energy and create psychological barriers within my mind. This is based particularly on my republicanism and my ability to continue the flow of my medication.
In 2007 I had joined NYC young republicans, James Hughes had advanced my thoughts 24/7 within my dorm room (inverting them as well)
Over a bong I decided to make one of three thesis films little nemo (a perfect Harry Potter if I used real talismans, ancient, esoteric, literal manol of the craft. I get too into this and purchase every possible ancient talisman off the net. James is watching, I invent my own form of universalism with my childhood experiences in chaos magick, believing I'm an angel/demon -> which evolves to every human having a white/black plane and pamphlets from AMORC which I join that year, in hopes that the illuminati will make me rich). My roommates read my diary/break into my dorm room/film me/follow me to my apt in 2007 in hells kitchen.

This is how the project I haves named Little Nemo comes to be. Whoever speaks to me on the other end becomes frustrated around April 2007 and fries my mind to make me easier to deal with.
This leads to an interaction with the project I label Little Nemo (c.lambton)

The project has many levels, things that are not real for others become real for me via segmenting my mind, access to my mental facilities thought on the other end.
I am to be able to poof into levels/mind states for my art, I fuck this up, I get stuck in a psychological hell level, I get stuck in a Bridgeport, Connecticut level that was to be a joke (where I am tormented with the concept of creating my manhattan project in bridgeport, Connecticut.)
I get trapped with the worst possible people in this time. I purposely create morphed fake levels of reality and forget how to get out/that I did this. Others take segments of my personality, which collapses in a level where my memories are erased if I don't finish art projects (little 7th gradeish art books quick enough)
"I'm scanning this part of your soul/this part-> you, my first girlfriend, everything is labeled and erased by the summer -> I leave myself a note before my mind/personality collapses to just make the artwork and they'll let me go. I become vulnerable but have my student loan $.
I complete my thesis year (despite original wishes of the project, where I refuse to leave to leave SVALBARD w/out my thesis) all of this is the base year of the project, it is 2007 everything is explained to me with a mass payout.
I allowed my memories to be erased, my "soul" for the million or so I was paid daily. Because of this I become trapped until instinct kicks in at later portions of the project.

This is essentially the base explanation of the project.
I allow people into my apartment to hypnotize me who claim to be the Arcade Fire. At one point I believe they had implanted me when I woke up in a panic, I could allow see shadows and heard who I believed to be Sarah Kalagnovos from my school say "is he okay?" and a male voice say coldly "he'll be fine" I hadn't awoken like this since Layla Celkupa whispered into me when I left my dorm room open the year before, I live echoed in these moments the real ones, trapped in my memory as clues of my existence when the truth was next door or allowed through my apartment or associated to Sean Connell, a former roommate or Brock Dave's who was hidden in the apartment below me. This is when the project directly acknowledged me, placed perceptions directly into me (of being the evil gentrifying element of hells kitchen, of living suddenly in the Fairfield side of town. This is when the project has Nicole Mcaleer from childhood appear "have a good day Christopher Mastronardi") she says to me one morning outside the home depot. James Hughes changes my perception from beneath me. His machine which I escaped for one day in Hells Kitchen when I first move in [24/7 a machine that reads my thoughts, I go into withdrawal from this when I escape for one day, I see the real city, feel real sleep on an air blown mattress before my green walls are repainted in hells kitchen, this machine inverts my thoughts, breaks down my ego 24/7, nightly he reads my thoughts learns of my personal religion and AMORC, my mind tells myself 'I barely make it to hells kitchen. This is before the ego breaking is completed this is before my mind is segmented into my first two novel characters in strawberry fields after I move to hella kitchen, I feel my mind snap in half and open. Time doesn't really matter after this point once I don't exist and my mind is taken apart. On the dreamscape, in my sleep, he promises me if I continue with the project I'll date Chloe Sevigny.
This is before names that have nothing to do with me are introduced into my reality like Harvey Weinstein from 10019's tv show.

This is a bit of skipping around but I'm trying to cover the entirety of the project when it made sense, when it seemed humane and my beliefs in the people on the other end lead me to the conclusion that I'd be paid at the end of being 23: my golden birthday which began @SVA to hells kitchen, which I thought James wished to document as I'd always believed this year would decide the rest of your life, a person who lived and believed by the number 23 I awaited this year. My film portfolio, introduction series of novels on Fairfield, Connecticut/three thesis films, I'd set my personal film cage instead of using the schools with all prosumer equipment. I'd awaited this year.
(I told myself if they stop me now I'll look like a fool, no portfolio, no admittance to NYU Tisch MFA which I'd decided after the RD in the George Washington asked me if I was on acid one 2006 summer: I still live in this summer. Where I join AMORC that I have endlessly regretted, for asking these people to help me get $ for straying from the film festival circuit, for the dream of my grandfather and biological father I think these people sent me. Where he protects me and my Celtic cross is taken off. This leads to Ketu, the symbol of my soul and replacement that I believe AMORC sent me, I still see the security guard looming over 90 degree parliament light dorm room and this little elvish dwarf man who lives in the gdubs through NYC's grandfathering laws. The summer I am taken from my lush and beauty home of the new residence, Anna gripe trot still lives in the east village which I escape to for air conditioning. I tell Liza we will marry, an open marriage planned, prepared, all jealousy non existent, a skill nisha taught me in advice around her producer boyfriend who did "the killers" album.
I am 22, I read Sane Society in the bathroom of the gdubs, I have a system to always stay in the dorms. I read the New Yorker on "future land" I lie to amorc on my spiritual experiences to get in, not wanting these people to know about my childhood belief in exodus (an angel/demon soul) in meditations I had, my belief I made it snow, I tell them all I know is Edgar Cayce the sleeping prophet. I am a bachelor of fine arts student, the future lies ahead of me, I receive my G5 with my 23 inch flat screen. I complete "the end of Fairfield dreams and enter the New York International Film Festival. Everything is set, I am happy, able to render and ready to return to the new residence. Life finally matters, my medication is my ability my strength and advantage over the film industry. My life is set and cured, my trilogy completed in novels via my ability to focus, I never knew the word focus was real, I was weak and riddled with ADD when you knew me Caitlin, a child without glasses, I never knew knowledge. I finally had a 4.0 I knew what I was talking about, I studied, kissed my acting teachers ass. I emailed her in the summer to assure what would become the SVA theatre on 8th avenue, I studied Amy Toubin's career on the "American Psycho" DVD extras, my plan was enacted my dream of novels matching a film series with scattered DVDs possible through tireless work, I studied B.E.E. the work of Brett Easton Ellis, I watched the shitty 80s "Less Than Zero" I created three Fairfield DVDs the project I applied to The School of Visual Arts for would be completed, my Fairfield artwork would be created the glorification of my dream possible because of my pinpointing my adult ADD. My life's work, notes from Christie Cummings, precise lines from childhood; everything was published because of my medication. I had the ability to learn for the first time in my life.
Three months awaited the tragedy.
This is the beginning of Dr.Manhattan's introduction in the watchmen. I cry to this when I see this film, this is me this is what they've done to me. Shelly was Anna, who took photographs of midgets at coney island.
This is my literal memory, my reflection before the tragedy of becoming Little Nemo and the curse of joining AMORC

To Be Continued...

-Little Nemo
(occupy wall street)

Apart of occupy wall street
A Caitlin Rodriguez production
Little nemo on hbo
2/16/2012
Black Caitlin heart
The School of Visual Arts Church of silver tiles day 483/8 James Hughes days

Sunday, February 5, 2012

update. currently in dorm room. eventually need to only write on little nemo occupy wall street

caitlin,
we live in this church at west park slope.
I've watched people from my school enter this church.
My thoughts get paused in writing to you, the simplistic writing that's placed into me.
Each and every thought is to be written by someone else.
I live by hate and hate will create words, artwork will flourish from my hate for all of humanity.
I have been left by the rest of the project, forced to play a game for my freedom.
Forced to find symbols of spirituality which I no longer believe in
human soul symbols and symbols of lodges
republican and democrat symbols.
I do not love this world and there is no reason to make artwork about a world you love
not when you have to beg for your medication and pray somebody brings this medication to you
not when you're forced to sleep and left trapped in time for years
not when people argue about whether your democrat or republican
if I was left alone I would become republican and kiss their asses to rise in society
instead I have to rise in society through artwork until the rest of the project chooses to come and get me.
Deep within me I dream of a flash flood of something that would harm the city of new york.
And if the thing they call little feels this way there will be artwork
because artwork can only be created in the world I live in if I wish for death of new york city.
Then there's a reason to write about others, there's a reason to observe music there's a reason to rise as the hipster king. I have no idea what these people want in order for me to be freed from this project or what they think the human soul is, I suppose with meditation I have to get them off my eye.
M83 was on carson daly who represents my medication.
I need to become to DNC contact for occupy wall street. I'm democrat because it's easy.

-Little Nemo
(occupy wall street)

apart of occupy wall street
a caitlin rodriguez production
little nemo on hbo
2/5/2012
black caitlin heart
the school of visual arts church of silver tiles day 471/8 james hughes days 

Friday, February 3, 2012

please let me out of this project caitlin get these people to let me out of this project please get them to turn this off and stop putting me to sleep and telling me to live with my biological father please somebody get me the fuck out of this shit 

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

its fine you're reading my blog I live at occupy wall street I'm a conspiracy and you'll only believe me when richard hilton or somebody exposes I exist. Maybe James st. James.

-Little Nemo
(occupy wall street)

title created by Premium Mobile
(girl I keep trying to marry/who takes caitlin's place in the project until she appears or is told I do this daily and pray to her as God that they'll let me go or somebody will bring me a way to find my fucking medication, without which I am not able to move my body)